It's OK to say NO

Are you a Yes person or a No person?

You know all of those inspirational posts that you see telling you to go for it, to spend a year saying yes to everything, or to just do it? 

Well, some of us are inherently born with that "yes" gene. We are people (freaking) pleasers. Everyone knows to come to us because we will always help, always be there, always give up whatever for you, and always say yes. Although I do think it's a very endearing quality, I have learned that if you always say yes, over time you eventually give control of your life over to other people. 

The problem with always saying yes is that people will use and abuse you. There are no clear boundaries. People are very comfortable around you; too comfortable. You become that girl that is always worn down and tired on the inside, but fake smiling and trying to make everyone happy on the outside. 

I think I was born wanting to please. I always strived for perfection in my relationships, with my family, with my grades, etc. Guess what? I was never satisfied and I always felt like I had to keep doing more. I still sometimes struggle with this. I have come a long way, but I still find myself having to consciously rewire my thoughts and actions.  

I have been the worn and tired one. I am not even talking about physically running around for people or planning their bridal showers or events (although I've been sucked into a few of those). I am talking about normal day to day decisions. I am talking about letting people take advantage of you; like making you talk to "that person" about a work decision because they "just literally can't", or being guilt tripped when you set aside some "me time" with yourself, or taking on your lazy coworkers tasks when they ask, or stepping in and volunteering at an event, even though you are eight months pregnant (Oops, that might have been me). Anyways, you know who you are. ;)

Dear fellow people pleasers, it is time to start saying no sometimes. 

We are young, loving, giving souls, but we ourselves were not put on this earth to be walked on or to be anyone's servant. We serve and give out of love, but we must create boundaries. This is our life and everyone else comes second. 

I am not encouraging you to get rude with people. I am not asking you to close yourself off or to change your personality. I am just asking you to think about yourself for a second. Get selfish in the right way. Your time and your sanity is valuable. In other words, "treat yo self". Treat yourself by loving yourself enough to turn off the phone and turn off the requests. Just turn off sometimes. You were created to live a life of love. Love others, but love yourself too. Love yourself enough to take care of you.